MY PERFECT BAÑO

Welcome one and all,
To my truly perfect baño,
Americans, Russians, North Koreans,
The occasional Mexicano,

Cheap crystal, cheap marble,
Lots of cheap brass,
And boxes and boxes of secrets
When you need to wipe your ass,

Cheap shower curtain,
Cheap vanity, cheap plastic can,
My cheap secret lair
Where the end of Trump began,

Forty Bankers Boxes,
A few more on sale at Staples,
So now you know the real reason
For the flight of Marla Maples,

Fifty years since Watergate,
Fifty more and history will thank me,
For Water Closet Gate it is,
And Water Closet Gate it shall always be.